The Darkside of Fall.

Fall is tops.  Right?  I mean, is there any debate about that?  Warm, sunny days, cool crisp nights.  Love.  There are pumpkin spice lattes, football games, and all sorts of other exclusively fall things. 

But there is a downside. 

When you are in school, September means a fresh start, new notebooks, new teachers (that aren't irritated by your "charming ways") new adventures.  All in all the general excitedness about starting up again - including new school clothes!

When you are a grown up?  Bleh, not so much.  In fact, September causes me the annual blues.  Every year.  My birthday is in September, and I LOVE that (I mean, would it be entirely unreasonable to request a birthday every month?  failing that, how about an Angie O day, every month?) but the rest of it?  September leaves me unsettled, like there should be a new beginning. 

I always want to look for a new job in September. 

I always become very sensitive to the fact that I am a crappy housekeeper and that my home is disorganized and messy. 

I always get a little bitter that I don't see my friends and family as much as I would like and that eveyrone seems so damn far away. 

How can a season that is so beautiful be such a rude awakening to me every year?  I mean, I haven't been in school for, gulp, nine years.  Shouldn't that feeling wear off? 

And what to do about it.  Do I keep making lists of the things about fall I love and try and ignore that wanderlust feeling?  Do I ditch the job, responsibilities (ok, not husband and kids, I will keep them - but the rest of it) and try and forge a radical change?

Instead, I will try and make peace between those two.  Eat the apple the kids picked on Sunday. Buy new eyeliner and see if I can capture a little newness that way.  Write endless emails to my friends and hope they miss me too. 

And a pumpkin spice latte can't hurt.