Turkey Day Redux

Do you have those little traditions that, because of their importance in your mind, sort of take on a life of its own?  Man,  Love me some traditions.  The problem with that, is sometimes the reality doesn't live up to the memory - rose colored glasses looking at the past. 

Thanksgiving is a BIG tradition for my family.  For many years, it is the one holiday we do not travel for, no obligation to do the big family dinner back home.  We have had our nice little Friends-giving for a long time.  Before Luke, Dottie, and Charlie.  It was always the Angie and Barb Thanksgiving show. 

Some years, our participants were more appreciative of the efforts than others.  There may have been a year where the house almost started on fire, where the ginger beer did not cure morning/all day sickness, where someone (who sucks and whose name will not be mentioned here) had his fresh kill in my driveway.  There were pingpong tournaments, naps, teaching the kids to rabidly hate the Detroit Lions. 

It was always the Angie and Barb Thanksgiving show.  If you want to see some recaps - Barb has been much more diligent of keeping our memories - check it out here. 

This year, because there has been a huge readjustment in our lives, I was a little worried that the actual event could not live up to the mythical place it held in my heart.  We had pinterest boards of ideas, multiple menu discussing emails, serious phone discussions.  Could it really be as great as in my mind? 

Then, 10 days before Thanksgiving, my knee gave out on me.  I couldn't walk.  Couldn't stand.  Was scheduled for unexpected surgery. 

I may have sent an angst filled email to Barb saying _ I cannot do this. 

Luke making Turkey decor (a must have).

But we did.  And it was, again, the Angie and Barb Thanksgiving Show.  Barb has a beautiful post with lots of pictures of the food. So I won't rehash.  I just want to share a few of my favorite pictures.   

I may have a new found love for Bourbon.  Yum.

Snow White (Dottie) making my family recipe for cranberry relish. 

Turkey Relish Tray, made with love by Barb and Dottie

I am a little bummed that there is not one picture of me and Barb.  In all our preparatory glory.  The food was wonderful, the house if not super clean, was presentable, the guests were fantastic and wonderful company, the drinks were plentiful and the day was just as wonderful in my heart and mind as in reality. 

We have a no Christmas till after the Turkey is put away rule in our house.  So Thanksgiving night, Mike the superdad, took Luke and Dottie out to work on the Christmas lights.  Charlie wanted in on the action too. 

We will plan on for 2013 - no lumpy gravy next time.  I promise. 

I know.

 I know that real, true friends are hard to find.  

I know that friendships can have some strange paths.  

I know that our neon campaign would have been a big success if only those bitches had listened.  I know our road trips have been some of the funnest days.  

I know all my children's lives are better because you are their auntie.  I know that they are learning important things -sometimes ice cream for dinner is ok, books are important, laughing is necessary and that there is always a reason to party around the corner.  

I know this was not your plan.  I know you love the traditions and rituals we have built for our grown up lives.  I know that we will continue to build traditions and memories and find new adventures to laugh about when we are 100 and 98 respectively.  

I know that you deserve (and will have) such big happies.  I know  that anyone who could be such a dear and important and necessary friend can only be that way because the light and love is in their heart and that is what the happies are drawn to.  

I know I will miss having you so close, being so accessible, ingrained in so much of my (our) day to day.  

I know this is not the end, it is an ebb in a friendship that has ebbed and flowed for almost 20 years now, a friendship that has spanned different cities before and will successfully do so again.  

Mostly, however, I know that I feel sad and miss you already.  I know I am not often at a loss for words - but there are no words to say how much you mean to me.  

I hope YOU know that.  

hello monday

hello two coffees and one giant soda before 9 am due to a cranky baby. 

hello sweet husband who braved a solo weekend with the kids (where it rained all weekend) so I could have a weekend back home by myself. 

hello dear friends from growing up.  It is so damn cool to see what you have become and how much our shared heritage is with me.  hello to big laughs, old teachers and texts to Barb about an old boyfriend of hers.  epic. 

hello to the week before our big adventure - family vacation to florida.  I am a mix of anxious, excited and terrified all at once. 

hello to a looming goodbye that I am choosing to pretend (for just a little longer) is not around the corner.

hello to Luke learning to tell jokes.  More on this later.

hello to an insane rest of 2012 calendar. 

hello Monday is an idea shamelessly hijacked from Katrina who may have hijacked it from someone else. 

Cue the Golden Girls Music

I have some wonderful friends on these interwebs.  Their daily emails are often what push me forward when I feel like I am running on empty.  In the past six months, we have had some real life events.  I mean, big heavy stuff.  The stuff that can really make you wonder. 

The funny thing?  It is those girls.  They are the ones who keep my life light.  Who have made me laugh, cry and so damn grateful for their presence in my life.  Let me introduce them to you -

Barb - She is my BFF.  Barb is smart, funny and creative.  She puts up with a lot of grand ideas and has the ability to boil them down into manageable pieces.  She loves starbucks drinks that I can never successfully remember to order correctly.  She loves books.  LOTS AND LOTS OF BOOKS.  She has an infuriating habit of reading books and skipping to the ending and then going back to finish the guts of the book.  She has been with me through it all.  Seen me at my very worst and chooses to ignore all that baggage and sees me as my funny and most of the time kind self.  She has given me the - you better shut up and make things right talk. She has brought me diet cokes when the world was falling apart.   She is the best auntie to my children and they adore their Bahb.  (I do too). 

Stephanie -  Stephanie is one of those people who is so positive and sweet and just, well, good.  Momma to two sweet boys, she is a full fledged member of the moms with husbands who travel club.  She is the queen of one liners. She is our resident expert on Disney, and the inner workings of tv news.   She loves Florida Gators (but we forgive her that, not everyone can be a big ten girl).  She shares my love of shrimp.  She is a fantastic photographer.  She is a mom who understands that speech delays are tough on moms as well as kids.  She is fierce and fun and I love her. 


Em - My fellow Badger.  Lover of all things grilled cheese. Momma to two littles, music teacher by day, scrapbooker by night.  Her swearing off dr pepper gives me hope that she does have at least one vice.  She is the author of my favorite rap, ever, Lice Lice Baby.  I hear she is known for ranting voicemails in more than one language (although her voicemails to me have never been ranting).  She is a little overwhelmed these days with the working mom blues but let me reassure her that everyone has a messy house, overflowing laundry and nights where cereal for breakfast looks like a gourmet option.  She is funny and kind and I love her. 

Katrina - Katrina is the mom who reminds us that we will survive these preschool years.  Her Austin and Hope are beautiful and kind and smart and funny young adults that give me hope that my children will also be such great additions to the world.  She is FUN - NY although she wants to believe that she is only dark and twisty.  She might be twisty but in my life, but she light not dark.  Lover of green smoothies, kale, swiss chard and other hippy foods - she is our resident meditator and reminder to be zen.  She is too damn far away (VT) but such an important part of my daily routine that I miss her and when I don't get emails from her I am sad.  She is embracing the eyeshadow and teaching me many things about cosmetics.  She is good and honest and hilarious and I love her.

These girls are the backbone of my support.  They are my Ventage girls and I hope you all have friends like these that lift you up.  Little reminders that you are more than a daughter, wife, mother, employee, whatever lable life sometimes slaps on you. 

Ventage girls - you may not change the world, but you have changed my life.  Love you forever.