hello monday

hello children who need more outside time... my kids have turned into maniacs.  they are soooo stir crazy and that in turn makes me crazy and tired.  i may have turned to mike yesterday and said, "don't worry, it won't be like this forever, someday at least Dottie and Charlie will move out" bwhahhahahahahahaha. 

hello state champs!  in a follow up to my previous post, the Notre Dame Tritons are state champs!!  Luke and i went to the game saturday night and I am soooo proud of the beautiful miss katherine!  I got a little teary even. 

hello big things...  there is an interesting opportunity heading my way, not quite sure what to make of it or if this is the one I have been waiting for... only time will tell.

hello emerald green... I am not much of a green girl usually (I leave that to the lovely Miss Stephanie) but I bought this emerald green cardigan and am LOVING it and wearing it with everything. 

hello to finding a way and powering through...  moms of the world - you are doing a great job and YOU are ENOUGH (no matter what FB or Pinterest says). 

Wrestled my Heart

Wrestling is one of those sports that has no middle ground - you either love it or just don't get it.  My brother was a wrestler, I may have dated a few wrestlers in my dating days, Mike was a wrestler. 

My life prepared me for this mothering moment (SCORE - seems infrequent that my life experience has helped me be a better mom). 

Luke has joined a youth wrestling program.  Well, really our whole family has because it is a real committement from a time and energy perspective.  Two nights a week, Luke and Mike trek to a smaller town with a super program and go to practice. 

Dude is loving it.  He has consistently weighed in at about 62 lbs of 4 year old muscle and naughtiness.  That means, that my Luke, with two months of wrestling experience, is being matched up against 6 and 7 year olds, with lots of experience. 

Not going to let that stop him.  Our Warrior has gotten sooooooooo into it.  He has wrestled in two tournaments, hasn't scored a win yet but has come very close.  He is loving being with boys, being able to be physical and active and strong.  It doesn't matter that he isn't a talker.  He has a man crush on his coach.  The coach who pushes being serious and focused and a good teammate.  The coach who laughs at his intensity and craziness and says, "its most important to have fun, winning comes later" all while teaching my Warrior to do complex moves and strategize. 

It rocks.  I am so proud of him that he hasn't been intimidated by this journey.  Because, wrestling is JUST HIM out on the mat. 

Wrestling becomes a whole family affair, on Sunday we booked it to a tournament.  We were lucky that Barb could join us.  Luke had some very cool fans in attendance. 

Dottie was very glamorous in her leggings, tutu and black combat boot getup.  Charlie wanted to be right there on the mat with the big boys and Barb was a great helper wrangling three kids! 

I am so proud of Luke, and LOVING how much fun he is having...

Today I am...

my little happy calendar at work

Wearing... grey dress, pink tights, houndstooth Sorel boots, white puffy coat, red/white stocking cap, black/white/red mittens.  Rocking the snowstorm fashion. 

Listening to...  Def Lepard, Joan Jett, Duran Duran.  Its 80's on Pandora people!  Whats not to love?

Trying to remember... that some day bedtime battles will be over and that I will miss snuggling those cranky little people that live in my house. 

Drinking... lots and lots of coffee.  3 am starts to the day will do that to a girl. 

Playing... Candy Land (always the yellow piece) and Go Spidey (marvel's version of Go Fish).

Laughing... at Dottie's constant need to "shake her booty" even if she prefers to do so without underwear. 

Wishing... Charlie was a better sleeper, how can such a happy daytime baby be such a crabby night time baby?

Looking forward to... seeing Barb this weekend and Luke's wrestling tournament. 

Turkey Day Redux

Do you have those little traditions that, because of their importance in your mind, sort of take on a life of its own?  Man,  Love me some traditions.  The problem with that, is sometimes the reality doesn't live up to the memory - rose colored glasses looking at the past. 

Thanksgiving is a BIG tradition for my family.  For many years, it is the one holiday we do not travel for, no obligation to do the big family dinner back home.  We have had our nice little Friends-giving for a long time.  Before Luke, Dottie, and Charlie.  It was always the Angie and Barb Thanksgiving show. 

Some years, our participants were more appreciative of the efforts than others.  There may have been a year where the house almost started on fire, where the ginger beer did not cure morning/all day sickness, where someone (who sucks and whose name will not be mentioned here) had his fresh kill in my driveway.  There were pingpong tournaments, naps, teaching the kids to rabidly hate the Detroit Lions. 

It was always the Angie and Barb Thanksgiving show.  If you want to see some recaps - Barb has been much more diligent of keeping our memories - check it out here. 

This year, because there has been a huge readjustment in our lives, I was a little worried that the actual event could not live up to the mythical place it held in my heart.  We had pinterest boards of ideas, multiple menu discussing emails, serious phone discussions.  Could it really be as great as in my mind? 

Then, 10 days before Thanksgiving, my knee gave out on me.  I couldn't walk.  Couldn't stand.  Was scheduled for unexpected surgery. 

I may have sent an angst filled email to Barb saying _ I cannot do this. 

Luke making Turkey decor (a must have).

But we did.  And it was, again, the Angie and Barb Thanksgiving Show.  Barb has a beautiful post with lots of pictures of the food. So I won't rehash.  I just want to share a few of my favorite pictures.   

I may have a new found love for Bourbon.  Yum.

Snow White (Dottie) making my family recipe for cranberry relish. 

Turkey Relish Tray, made with love by Barb and Dottie

I am a little bummed that there is not one picture of me and Barb.  In all our preparatory glory.  The food was wonderful, the house if not super clean, was presentable, the guests were fantastic and wonderful company, the drinks were plentiful and the day was just as wonderful in my heart and mind as in reality. 

We have a no Christmas till after the Turkey is put away rule in our house.  So Thanksgiving night, Mike the superdad, took Luke and Dottie out to work on the Christmas lights.  Charlie wanted in on the action too. 

We will plan on for 2013 - no lumpy gravy next time.  I promise. 

Face the Facts Friday

I have never been so ill prepared for any job as I am for being a mom. 

I hate being unprepared. 

This boy is my 4 and 1/2 years of  joy and challenge. 

Luke has a pretty significant speech delay.  He (and we!) have been receiving speech therapy since he was two.  He is making GREAT strides but still has a long way to go.  He works so hard.  He is my Warrior. 

The thing about being a Warrior, though?  It has some down sides.  That tenacity, the intensity the strength - is coupled with anxiety, fear of failing and anger. 

Dude.  Anger and anxiety effing suck.  Especially for a four year old and his parents. 



Luke goes to an awesome day care.  They have our philosphy about physical activity (great!), large and fine motor skill development (fantastic!) and most of all patience (much needed).  These women work their butt off every day for my kids (and other lucky Green Bay parents/kids) and they have so much love and grace.  I am humbled by the challenges of their job. 

One challenge?  My Warrior.  He is tender hearted, bullish, agressive and emotional.  He struggles to communicate his needs/wants/feelings.  Recently "I am feewling vewy fwustwated" is a common refrain.  He has also been acting out pretty agressively - throwing chairs, threatening to hit the teachers, running away from the group.  This is exacerbated by hard transitions (new kids in/out of the classroom, substitute teachers, etc) and sleep challenges, speech challenges and always being the big kid. 

Yesterday was a hard day for my Warrior.  I picked him up and the first thing he said was, "I made bad choices".

This mom?  Wanted to lock herself in her car and cry.  How can he feel so bad and how can I make it better?  How can I help him channel his emotions and intensity in an ok way?  ARGH? 

I spent some time talking with Luke and his wonderful teacher Miss Meagan.  We agreed that the hardest time of day for him was right after lunch when things started to settle down for quiet/nap time.  We are going to have a call where he can check in with me and get a little momma love.  I hope its enough. 

Last night after dinner, I asked Mike to give Dottie and Charlie a bath.  Luke and I needed to take a walk and get outside.  My sweet Luke talked from the second we left the driveway until 45 minutes later when we returned.  He kept saying.  "I wuv you"  "I wuv when its just you and me"

Heartbreak.  I love having a lot of kids.  I even (most days) love having them close together.  But I usually only look at the good, the bad, they ugly of it - for me.  I forget that it can be hard to be the big brother of our chaotic brood.  That he needs just me or just Mike sometimes. 

Heartbreak #2 - I am not sure how to make that happen frequently enough.

Heartbreak #3 - Frequently enough for all. three. of. them. 

We had such a good walk/talk.  This kid is a gem - he is smart and funny and really really loving. 

I have no idea how I deserve him. 

I found the pictures on my iPhone.  I don't know exactly when he took them, or what he was up to.  But I lvoe the discovery and twinkle in his eye. 

And I need to find a way to maximize twinkle and skills to deal with the not so twinkly stuff.  For both of us. 

hello monday

hello two coffees and one giant soda before 9 am due to a cranky baby. 

hello sweet husband who braved a solo weekend with the kids (where it rained all weekend) so I could have a weekend back home by myself. 

hello dear friends from growing up.  It is so damn cool to see what you have become and how much our shared heritage is with me.  hello to big laughs, old teachers and texts to Barb about an old boyfriend of hers.  epic. 

hello to the week before our big adventure - family vacation to florida.  I am a mix of anxious, excited and terrified all at once. 

hello to a looming goodbye that I am choosing to pretend (for just a little longer) is not around the corner.

hello to Luke learning to tell jokes.  More on this later.

hello to an insane rest of 2012 calendar. 

hello Monday is an idea shamelessly hijacked from Katrina who may have hijacked it from someone else. 

Kick it.

Fall Saturday mornings used to mean farmers market, coffee, running around with the kids.  Usually pretty chill - good way to kick off the weekend.  

Now?  Soccer time.  Now, not soccer time like those freaky soccer people who are in ten million tournaments and packing lunch to eat at the field.  Not us.  Hopefully, not ever.  

But we have a fantastic neighborhood YMCA.  The super awesome kind - family focused, great vibe, teaching about teamwork and respect and working hard.  All ages, from Charlie sized mini workout kings to 90 year old Albert work out kings.  Its a happy place.  


Especially for Luke 

Soccer starts at 9.  He wants to leave our house every Saturday morning at like 7:30.  We are ALWAYS the first people there.  We kick the ball and get geared up.  Its Mom and Luke time. 

One of the things I was most worried about was Luke's ability to wait his turn.  The gams are three on three so there is a lot of sideline time.  This momma could not be prouder - he is engaged, cheering on the other kids, doing awesome.  

Coach Zac is a college soccer player from St Norbert College.  Me thinks he is uninitiated in the world of the four year old.  Luke thinks he is Soo Coool.  

I think it is so cool to see him taking some steps into his own.  He is so happy playing around, running, wearing himself out.  He is friendly and encouraging.  He almost always has to pee in the weeds because he needs to go.  bwhahah.  When the games are done, we get in the truck, have  a juice box and a little dance party.  Saturday morning we were almost home and he said,

"I wuv doing this with you mom".

Couldn't have said it better myself.

Trendy Tuesday

When Luke was born, I became a total slob.  I mean, I could barely comb my hair, get showered and dressed in something besides yoga pants.  I was adjusting to a 430 wakeup time, sleepless nights, all that jazz.  

When Dottie was born, I went from slob to zombie.  Two kids in 17 months.  I was barely functioning.  I have very few memories of the first six months.  My memories of the second six months involve lots of meltdowns (me) and tantrums (Luke) a confused baby (Dottie) and a traveling for work husband (Mike).  

Now with Charlie - it is like a lightbulb went on.  I am adjusted to the 430 wakeup, the nights of interrupted sleep.  I have come to peace (sort of) that my house is a disaster and that the laundry never is caught up.  I refuse to feel guilty that sometimes we eat just buttered noodles and applesauce for dinner.  No one is malnourished at my house.  

And so, I am coming out of the fashion black hole I have been living in.  Like - really making an effort to put together some outfits and wear accessories and (gasp!) makeup.  It is the makeup that is making this so fun - trying new looks, acting like Kim Kardashian with a huge smokey eye (lets be clear, I already had the huge ass) and not caring that a paper company lawyer doesn't usually mean fashionable.  

So if you are in that dark hole of either zombie or slob - there is a light at the end of the tunnel.  You can get your groove back.  Embrace that glittery gold eyeliner!  

But I do still love yoga pants.

Sunday Funday (the pumpkin version)

My most favorite thing in life?  Sunday breakfast.  It is not hurried.  It can be complicated (or not).  Everyone is generally in a good mood.  It is just the five of us.  It usually involves a dance party of some sort.  It is heaven.  

Today's heaven was pumpkin pancakes with bacon.  So if you have never had a pumpkin pancake with a piece of bacon rolled in like a taco filling with maple syrup - you have never lived.  Try it.  No need to thank me.  

Then, because I had an open can of pumpkin - pumpkin pie dip it was awesome and will be great to use up some of the ten million apples we have from the orchard last weekend.  

Now for those of you who have little people and are football fans, you must know what a travesty the NFL's 3:15 pm game can be.  The Packers played at 3:15 and it is miserable with kids - they want to run around and be crazy because they have recently napped.  You want to sit and watch the game and not run around.  So today, I had the brilliant plan to make pumpkin granola during the game so the kids were occupied and hopefully I could steal a few glances at the tv.  

I started with my basic granola ingredients and swapped out pumpkin in place of the olive oil.  I put the kids to work. After about 15 seconds of that, I think Luke sneezed all over the place.  We had to have a friendly chat about cooking cleanliness.  I like my granola like my life - very nutty.  Dottie was having a blast scooping and dumping ingredients.  Especially the peanuts.  

Luke was totally vigilant to ensure that Dottie wasn't getting to add or do something cooler than him.  He added about seven million tablespoons of cinnamon sugar.  He also kept sneaking tastes of the honey.  He wasn't even sneaky about it.  He left a huge sticky trail that gave him away.  They were excellent helpers.  

Of course, even the best 4 and 2 year old helpers get antsy.  And lets be serious, making granola is super tedious after the mixing part is done.  I was abandoned with the granola.  Which I guess is fine because it would have been pretty suspect parenting to let them do the roasting in the oven. 

Finally, several hours later, all the granola was finished.  The game was on but chaos reigned supreme here.  I would like to think of myself as some hippy, granola, calm momma, but to be candid - this is what it is really like:

In fact, shortly after the last roasted pan came out of the oven, Dottie informed me, "this nola is gross".

Great.  

Well, at least they are cute non hippies.