Someday We Might Look Back and Laugh

Easter weekend was rough.  Like snotty crying screaming rough.  Like, I had that - "We are horrible parents and our children are demons" moment, only it wasn't a moment, it was a whole day. 

The kids were OMG SO EXCITED TO GO TO POPPA AND GRANDMA'S HOUSE. 

Friday we packed up and were on the road at a decent time, the trip was relatively painless, all seemed well.  I should have known better. 

We get to my parents house and the kids start acting like they are sniffing paint fumes or snorting coke or something. 

OMG ITS SO AWESOME AND I LOVE POPPA AND I LOVE POPPAS HOUSE AND CAN WE HAVE A SNACK GRAMMA?  CAN WE RUN FROM ROOM TO ROOM AND TALK SO LOUD PEOPLE IN CHINA CAN PROBABLY HEAR US...

and on, and on and on. 

I was thinking this was first day of visit excitement and that they would ramp down.  They slept good (which never happens) and the morning seemed to be getting off to a good start. 

And then it turned into a total train wreck. 

The kids did eggs with my parents, maybe the dye leached into their brains or something because after that, they became monsters, no listening, running around like crazy, just screaming and being jerks.  My parents house is pretty small and it was raining, there wasn't any place to either 1) let them run around and blow off some steam/energy or 2) separate Luke and Dottie and settle them down. 

My mom scheduled lunch with the extended fam at 11:30.  Disaster.  My three kids all still nap, so now they were (SUPER OVER TIRED), ready to nap, and there was a housefull. 

Friends, I lost my shit.  At 3 pm, I said, "I have had enough of this." And we packed up and took three hysterical screaming kids to the van.  My parents are protesting, the kids are acting psychotic and I just couldn't take one more thing.  In fact, my brother said, I think I might just get another dog and avoid this whole kid thing. 

As we drove away, Luke kept unfastening his seat belt.  I would stop and make him buckle it up.  Finally about 1/4 mile from the exit where I was going to get gas, I said (and I am super embarassed to even admit this) "If you unhook your seat one more time, I am going to leave you at the gas station". 

We pull into the gas station and Luke has gone from hysterical to HYSTERICAL2.0 screaming, DON'T LEAVE ME HERE.  I AM SORRY IAM SORRY You can't leave me here, I am your FAMILY.  I was the baby in your BELLY, HOW CAN YOU LEAVE ME HERE.

Worst. Mom. Ever. 

At this point, I am SOBBING, all three kids are SOBBING and Mike is standing outside pumping gas.  To add insult to injury, I somehow set off the panic button on the van and couldn't figure out how to turn it off.  Nice way to draw even more attention to the screaming sobbing minivan. 

Finally I said, in the calmest voice I could muster,

"I am sorry.  I was angry and frustrated and I said something that was exaggeration.  I would NEVER leave any of you ANYWHERE just because I was mad.  That was  a bad choice.  You cannot take off your seatbelt when we are driving.  It is time to calm down and we will try to have a fresh start in a few minutes".

The kids were asleep before we even left the gas station parking lot.  They slept for 2 hours and were acting totally normal by the time we got home.  We had a quiet dinner, quiet bedtime and Easter morning was fine. 

We went to the zoo and ran around and just tried to forget that Saturday even happened.  It is still hurting my heart though.  Not just the naughtiness, more that I feel so bad that I spoke words I didn't mean, in anger and that it scared my kids.  Might take all of us a while to get over that. 

Someday we might look back and laugh, but, friends?  I don't think I will be laughing.